Ive been making music for a very long time. What have i actually achieved? Very little on the face of things in comparison to some musicians, but for me at my time of life the need to be famous has gone. So now i write songs at my own pace (very slowly) and i don’t worry too much about how they will be received. I think that this is a good way to write, if a little self-indulgent.
Ive always had a very strong belief in my songs, i think someone could make a really good album from them, i think my chance at fame passed me by in the nineties, Would i do things differently with the knowledge i now have if i could have that time again? I think i probably would, my self belief certainly bordered on arrogance at times, hindsight is a wonderful thing.
I haven’t recorded enough songs, the reason for that? they take too long to record, i can spend months tweaking this sound or re-recording that guitar only to end up with something that still doesn’t sound quite good enough, i don’t think that anything will ever sound good enough, as i am very critical of my own music as well as others. It can be soul destroying at times, you know what you want it to sound like in your head, but translating that to the sound that comes out of the speakers is a very difficult process.
Do i think i’m a good singer? I think i’m an ok singer, i’ve always found it really difficult to get away from the Elvis Costello comparisons and you know what?, i do sound a bit like him, and do you know what else? I was a big fan of his, but i was also a big fan of a lot of other singers, i don’t try to sound like him, it’s just the way it comes out. I could probably do a pretty good tribute act.
Do i think i’m a good musician? Not good enough, i get by on piano, guitar and maybe a bit of percussion, but that’s it, i get by.
Do i enjoy playing live? Yes and No, Yes because i enjoy the rush that you get when people are enjoying your music, No because i don’t enjoy the build up to it, the nerves, the anxiousness that i feel before i play has always been there, i think its inbuilt so you don’t become complacent, and it works, i cant remember ever playing a gig that i haven’t been extremely nervous about before. So i always try to give 100% when i play, whether its to a few mates around a campfire or to a pub full of punters.
I played last Saturday at a Cricket Club, my son was watching, it was the first time he watched me play and i didn’t see embarrassment in his eyes, that’s got to be progress.
Do i prefer being solo, or being in a band? I miss the camaraderie of being in a band, the weekly rehearsals, recording sessions, the social aspect, the gigs, all of that, but i don’t miss the difficulty of getting everyone together at once. I must say that when the band are all on form playing to a packed crowd, that is a special feeling. It’s happened to me a few times over the years. Being solo is very different to being in a band, the only person you can let down is yourself, the expectation level is much less, but then the motivation is not as great, the plus points are, easy setup, cheap rehearsals and cheap rounds at the bar! Ive enjoyed the few gigs i’ve played solo, i guess it’s good to be able to do both. Maybe i will join a band again one day.
So as i draw my musical musings post to a close, ill leave you with one thought, any piece of music that you hear must have been enjoyed by someone at sometime, even if it’s only the person that made it.